A Proper Understanding of Biblical Submission

One of the common arguments against Biblical submission in marriage is the idea that submission is dangerous. The claim is that if a woman submits to her husband, he may abuse her or direct her to do wrong or harmful things. People with this view often point to cases of women who stayed in an abusive marriage out of a belief that the Bible commands them to submit to whatever their husband says. Sometimes, the abusive husband even quotes scripture at his wife (out of context) while abusing her, making her believe she is meant by God to submit to that treatment.

This is a faulty understanding of what the Bible teaches on this subject. A proper understanding of Biblical submission is that a woman should submit to her husband only in areas where he has God-given authority.

It's all about authority structure. The wife is under the authority of the husband, the children are under the authority of their parents, and all of them are under the authority of God. However, because God is the ultimate authority, His laws about morality trump any directives by lower authorities. A wife must obey God rather than her husband where they directly conflict just as children must obey God rather than their parents where they directly conflict. The same sort of prioritizing also occurs in the secular realm where we must all obey God rather than government or our employers where their orders conflict. This is nothing new or earth shattering. We all need to understand God's hierarchy of authority and our place in it so that we can make wise choices in keeping with God's will.

No man has the authority to abuse his wife or children or to order them to do anything contrary to the word of God. That authority has not been granted to men, and any order in direct conflict with God's word is an invalid order. So, for example, if a husband were to tell his wife to sleep with another man, to renounce her faith, to steal from someone, or to take a beating from him, she should refuse because her husband does not have authority to tell her that. God's laws trump her husband's authority.

However, within the sphere of her husband's authority, she should submit. The husband has authority from God to make decisions for the family, to discipline and train the children (though not abuse them or deprive them of things they need), to lead the family spiritually, and to set the overall direction and goals for the family. In these areas, a wife should submit to her husband's leadership.

A woman's place in the family authority structure provides her both a unique role and a unique protection. Because the husband is in the place of greater authority, he will bear the greater responsibility. Thus, he will answer to God for the overall direction and mission he chooses (or shirks) for his family and how he carries that out. Much like being the boss in the business world, when someone has more responsibility, they bear the blame when something goes wrong. Wives have the protection of a lesser responsibility. They are responsible for fulfilling their own role, but not for the role of their husbands.

Wives also have the responsibility of their own unique role as helper and encourager to their husbands. A good wife is blessing to her entire family, handling details and logistics and making a happy home so that her husband can concentrate on his overall mission for God and leading the family. As such, she plays a vital role in the success or failure of those endeavors. If she leaves her role and tries to take over the authority role of her husband, not only does that result in a conflict for authority that weakens the family, but it results in her own proper role going unfilled. This is not good for anyone in the family. A wife is needed in her own role and no one else can fill it.

As a final note, this all has nothing to do with women being inferior. That's a common misconception, but completely false. It is a very modern and erroneous notion that those with more authority are more valuable. That is simply not so in God's economy. In fact, the Bible teaches that the greatest is the servant, not the master. God sees the role of servant or helper as a vitally important and valuable role, not one of lesser value. There is simply no reason to believe that having more authority confers more value and we must work to rid ourselves of that unbiblical notion.

Thus, Biblical submission does not mean that women are inferior to men in any way or that they may be mistreated or abused by their husbands. But they do have a different place in the authority structure set up by God for the family. There has to be a single leader for the family because if there is no leader, there is no direction and any disagreement (which is going to happen in any marriage) will lead to struggle, conflict, and chaos. God's authority structure for the family avoids this conflict and leads to a more peaceful and efficient family that can be more effective for God.

Easy Quesadillas

Quesadillas are a very easy food to make and can be made with a variety of ingredients. Here are a few of my favorites and how to make them. I'll start with beef and cheese quesadillas to walk you through the process of how to make them and then mention some other tasty variations.





Beef and Cheese Quesadillas

Ground beef
Water
Taco seasoning mix
Chili powder
Butter
Flour tortillas
Shredded fiesta cheese blend

Start by browning the ground beef and breaking it up into small bits as you cook it. Drain the grease and add a small amount of water (2-3 tablespoons for a pound of beef) to moisten it. Add taco seasoning and chili powder. I usually use about 2-3 tablespoons of taco seasoning and 1-2 tablespoons of chili powder per pound of meat, but you can adjust it to your taste. Stir the meat well until all the seasoning is thoroughly distributed.

Note: I use this same seasoned meat for tacos, tostadas, taco salad, and enchiladas. It's very versatile and stores well in the fridge for 5 days or so to make easy leftovers.

To make the quesadillas, lightly butter a 10-inch skillet over medium heat. You should need about a teaspoon of butter per quesadilla.

Place a flour tortilla in the buttered pan. Sprinkle the tortilla with the fiesta cheese and then the ground beef.

Let the cheese melt slightly, then fold in half. Allow the bottom side of the tortilla to brown, then flip to brown the other side as well. You want the outside to be golden brown and slightly crispy and the cheese inside to be hot and melted.

Remove from pan and cut into wedges. Serve with ranch dressing. You can also use sour cream or eat them plain, but ranch makes them so much better.

Ok, that's the basic way to make a quesadilla. It only takes 2-3 minutes once you have the meat cooked and everything laid out. If you want to make several at a time, just use a large griddle.

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But this recipe is just the beginning. There are so many variations. Here are some to try:

Beef, Bean, and Cheese Quesadillas
Just add a spoonful or two of cooked black beans to the beef and cheese. This is actually my favorite variation. It's a little heartier.

Cheese Quesadillas
Leave out the meat and just use fiesta cheese or shredded cheddar or whatever cheese version you prefer. You can also add a little chopped onion if you wish. Making them cheese only is popular with kids.

Chicken Quesadillas
Instead of seasoned beef, use cooked, shredded chicken. Toss the chicken with a little taco seasoning for Mexican flavor. You can keep the fiesta cheese or use cheddar or monterrey jack. I often mix fiesta cheese and monterrey jack or mozarella for a milder taste.

Pizza Quesadillas
Spread the tortilla with a small amount of spaghetti sauce (just 1-2 tablespoons or it will get messy), sprinkle with italian seasoning, then layer on mozzarella cheese and pepperoni. I usually put the pepperoni on just one half so they don't slide out when I fold the tortilla in half.

Chicken Italiana
Use mozarella cheese, a little parmesan, and sprinkle with italian seasoning. Then add some cooked, shredded chicken. Serve plain or dip in marinara sauce or alfredo sauce. For an italian cheese version, leave out the chicken.


Hopefully, that gives you some ideas. There are so many other variations that could be mentioned, but I'll leave that to your creativity. Enjoy!

Why Women Should Not Be in Combat

I know it’s not very politically-correct to say this, but women should never be placed in combat positions in the military. Women, by their very design, are not as well-suited for battle conditions as men. This includes multiple aspects of their physical and mental design.

For example, the forearms of women have a deeper notch in the upper arm bone that makes their forearms more flexible. Because of this, women can move their arms further back than straight at the elbow. Men's arms do not reach 180 degrees, and this is a strength feature. A man will be able to lift more weight than a woman, even if their arm muscles were of the same mass, just because of this alone. But in addition to that, a man's bones are thicker and tougher than a woman's as well.

Of course, the idea of equal muscle mass is an illusion because the biology of men (including much higher levels of testosterone) means they can put on much more muscle mass than women and they lose it more slowly (meaning it's easier to stay in shape). When it comes to sheer strength, women simply cannot compete with men on a general basis. Some women are stronger than some men, of course, but men as a group have a much greater potential for strength than women. Few women have the ability to carry a grown man off the battlefield or to carry the large packs of supplies they need for a mission. They simply don't have the strength.

Women also have hips that are wider to allow for bearing children, but those same pelvic bones are less well designed for running fast, which can be important in evading enemy fire, keeping up with the pace of the group, or charging enemy lines.

Speaking of their pelvic region, women also have a genital area that is much more vulnerable to infection under dirty and primitive conditions often seen on the battlefield. A woman has a large surface area of moist mucous membrane in that region and a much shorter urethra, both of which make her far more vulnerable to infection that can travel easily to internal body regions and become serious or even life-threatening. The design of male genitalia makes men able to handle less sanitary conditions for longer periods without serious health risks.

Of course, women also have a monthly bleeding issue that makes hygiene and privacy more difficult without sanitary bathroom facilities. And not only do women need to keep that area especially clean at that particular time of the month, but even daily tasks like urination are more difficult for women. Having to squat makes women not only require different facilities and better sanitation for their elimination activities, but makes them more vulnerable during a surprise attack. A man surprised mid-stream is still on his feet, ready to run or charge. A woman...not so much.

Even the skin of women is less adapted for battle. Men have fewer blood vessels to the skin than women, which means that men bleed less from superficial wounds. Obviously, anyone can bleed to death if the wound is severe enough, but the lesser blood loss from superficial wounds means men are more likely to survive and keep fighting even after being wounded.

Men have a larger lung capacity than women, even at the same height and body mass. This gives them a greater ability to intake oxygen. Men also have a greater percentage of red blood cells in their blood, allowing them to transport more oxygen to their muscles when needed. These features give men greater endurance.

All of these individual features I have mentioned point out potential liabilities for single-cause injury or death. However, women also have less of an ability to stand up to the long-term physical strain of being in combat and are more likely than men to experience physical breakdown and require medical care for less quantifiable reasons.

In addition to the many physical reasons that women are less adapted to battle conditions, women are also less mentally prepared for the horrors of battle. Not only does the physical strain weigh more heavily on them and cause physical breakdown faster in women, but the same is true mentally. Women are more prone to mental issues like PTSD in the wake of battlefield stresses. The horrors of war will break down many men, but women are even more vulnerable to this side effect.

Women are designed to be nurturers. Men are designed to be warriors. Their physical and mental designs reflect this. Women have strengths that men do not have, but men also have strengths that women do not have. Being an effective soldier on the battlefield is not in keeping with a woman’s design.

Because women are not designed for battle, putting a woman into combat is a risk to both the woman herself and to the rest of her unit. Her physical and mental health will be more threatened by what she encounters than a man in the same situation. Thus, battle is more dangerous to her. But when any member of a unit is compromised in speed, endurance, strength, or mental fortitude or when they are injured or killed, it places a greater risk upon all of them as they try to make up for the lack and protect their fellow soldiers. Having a woman in the unit is a liability that simply wouldn’t exist if that woman were replaced with a man.

I've already identified many reasons from biology that women should not be in combat, but there are many other issues that could be put forth. I haven't even mentioned here the significant challenges involved in men and women sharing close quarters, the instinct of men to protect women even when it would not be advisable in a military context and the threat this poses to male soldiers, the very real risks of rape to women in the military (both from fellow soldiers and from the enemy if they were to be captured), the need for privacy, the sexual tension, the cost of separate sleeping and bathroom facilities, and many other relevant issues.

What it comes down to is that, if the military were just for show and didn't engage on the battlefield, it wouldn’t matter whether we had women in it. But if the military is a serious force designed to engage in battle efficiently and effectively, then for purely practical and ethical reasons alone, women should not be part of its combat forces.

Why Sexual Refusal Hurts Marriages

Sexual refusal is a serious problem in many marriages. Even Christian marriages. In most cases, it's the wife doing the refusing. So here's my message to the ladies who are saying no to their husbands and denying him sex or those who are struggling with wondering why they are expected to have sex regularly with their husbands.

Ladies, if you're married, your husband probably doesn't have the gift of celibacy. And he got married, at least partially, in order to fulfill his God-given sex drive. That's one of the legitimate purposes of marriage.

Not only that, but when a man is single, while it's certainly difficult to abstain from sex, at least he doesn't have a beautiful woman sharing his living quarters and tempting him every day.

A married man has both the legitimate expectation of getting sex and a woman he loves and is attracted to right there in his home all the time. To expect him to abstain for long periods when the object of his desire is right there in his bed every night is to ask too much. It's like staring at a box of chocolates all day while on a diet. It's torture.

So how does a man deal with a wife who refuses him all the time? The same way we deal with the chocolates when we are trying to diet. We put them away, don't look at them, and try not to think about them.

This is why refusal hurts marriages. A man will withdraw from his wife if he is being constantly refused. And it will tear them apart. It's too hurtful for a man to engage with a wife, spend time with her, and build up all that desire from being around her only to be constantly frustrated. So he'll protect himself by avoiding her.

Don't do that to your marriages, ladies. Build that connection your marriage and your husband need by engaging in sex frequently. It's God's design that marriages need sex to stay strong. Sex isn't just a physical act. It's an act of connection and love. So when you don't feel like it, remember that sex isn't optional or irrelevant. It's important maintenance for your marriage.

Of course, it's even better if you learn to like it. Sex can be great fun. If it's not fun for you, then perhaps there are some things you can do to boost your libido or learn how to get pleasure from it. But even when you can't imagine sex being fun, don't forget how important it is.

How to Get a Degree without Drowning in Debt

The student loan system in this country is terrible. It's a bad system that doesn't give most people a good return for their investment and often traps them in crippling debt. It’s not designed to help students, but to help the colleges have a steady stream of new students paying tuition, whether or not they can afford it, and whether or not they receive a good return on their investment. Don’t get sucked in to the student loan vortex.

If you want to go to college and get a good value for your money, you have to do these things. None of them are optional.

1) Study a subject that will get you a job. A majority of majors in the university will leave you unemployed and deep in debt too. Study STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math), not humanities, English, or social science. The latter fields are simply not worth the money to study at a university because they don’t yield good job prospects. Unless you are independently wealthy and have nothing better to do with your money, you’re better off to just study these things in your spare time by checking out books at your local library. Paying a college to teach them to you is not a good use of money.

2) Only go to college if you have reason to believe you are good enough at academics to finish your degree with a decent GPA. Unfortunately, many colleges are all too willing to accept unqualified applicants who can't do the work and will fail. If you don't finish the degree, you've wasted your time and money.

3) Make studying a priority during your college years. College is far too expensive to waste your time partying and acting like an adolescent. If you're going to pay for a college education, use it wisely and actually educate yourself. Make getting good grades, gaining knowledge, and making connections who will give you a good recommendation a priority.

4) Avoid student loans as much as possible. Instead, work as much as you can and apply for scholarships and grants. Go to a cheaper school, if necessary, or sit out a semester and work full time to earn the money. And if you do take out student loans, at least work part time so that you aren’t putting all your current living expenses into loans in addition to tuition.

5) Remember that the proper amount of student loans is zero and any non-zero amount must be justified by careful study and number-crunching to make sure it is worth it. Your future is at stake. In my experience, the only time student loans are an acceptable investment is when you’re going into a high paying field (think doctor, lawyer, or engineer), have very high graduation and employment potential (good grades and some work experience), and your realistic (not idealistic) future income will be sufficient to pay for your total student loans in less than 10 years while also allowing you to cover all your living expenses. You have to crunch the numbers and make sure the investment, including the interest you will pay, is worth it in better job prospects and pay than you could achieve without the degree. You can’t rely on the system to check this for you. They are all too happy to mortgage your future for a degree you can’t afford and that won’t get you a job.

For more on this topic, check out this excellent video from Prager University on the subject of student loans and how they are bad for students.

It is possible to go to college and get a degree that will prepare you for a job and to do it without drowning yourself in debt. I did it. I graduated with a Master's degree in Biology, with a 4.0 GPA throughout, with no debt, and got a job right out of college. But I’m the exception. You can’t just do what everyone else is doing and expect things to work out well for you. You have to be smart and informed or you’re likely to end up an unhappy statistic, paying down enormous debt on a degree you never use.