I like that word "together." I like being a team with my husband. I like the way we make decisions together, spend time together, work together, relax together, and dream together. Marriage is a wonderful thing.
People often say that the spark will fade eventually, that the excitement of being married will die. Well, so far, it hasn't happened to us. Being with my husband and sharing life together still thrills me. My heart still does little flip flops when he looks at me or touches me. It's a little different now than when we were first married, because we're used to each other. But it hasn't grown old or stale. It just gets better because we know each other even better. Our intimacy has grown and deepened. We're more a part of each other now than we've ever been and we love each other more than ever. I hope we always feel this way about each other (and I think we will, as long as we take time to appreciate each other).
Two years ago, on our wedding day, we were so in love and excited to be finally married. We were finally free to jump into life together with gusto, finally free to express the desires of our hearts. But our love is deeper now, and stronger, than it was then. We know each other better now. Then, we had the thrill of the unknown and the excitement of discovery. Not that we were strangers. On the contrary, we knew each other quite well. But there’s a certain knowing that only comes from living together day in and day out, seeing each other in every aspect of life, being one. This more mature love doesn’t have to replace the old excitement (at least not completely). It was meant to add to the love that a husband and wife share. And it just gets better and better as time goes on.
A lot has happened these last two years. The biggest change was the arrival of our little girl last November. A baby sure changes things. But having a child doesn’t have to drive a wedge between a husband and wife. We’ve actually found that we’ve grown closer as we learn to be parents together. We’ve had to be careful to always put each other first, even over being a parent, and to talk things over together. Making time for each other can be difficult at times. Reagan has a knack for waking up at the most inopportune moments. But spending time together is a priority for us and we make it happen on a regular basis.
I think one secret to keeping the spark alive is to take time to appreciate each other. If you take each other for granted, if you forget to be thankful for each other, it’s so much easier to become dissatisfied and discouraged. A grateful heart is a happy heart. That’s true in general, but especially true in marriage. And, of course, it’s not enough to simply feel grateful – you have to tell each other of your appreciation. This can be done through words, gestures, and even writing love notes (yes, I took my own advice and wrote one for my husband yesterday). My husband and I take time to tell each other of our love and appreciation on a regular basis and it has kept us close.
So, here we are beginning our third year of marriage. I’m looking forward to what this next year will bring. I’m confident that this year will be even better than the last – that we will grow even closer to each other as we learn even more about each other. It is our desire and plan to spend the rest of our lives learning to love each other more.