Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Reflections on Two Years of Marriage

Yesterday was my anniversary. My husband and I have been married for 2 years now (where did the time go, anyway?), and I've been doing a little reflecting on this journey of life we're on together.

I like that word "together." I like being a team with my husband. I like the way we make decisions together, spend time together, work together, relax together, and dream together. Marriage is a wonderful thing.

People often say that the spark will fade eventually, that the excitement of being married will die. Well, so far, it hasn't happened to us. Being with my husband and sharing life together still thrills me. My heart still does little flip flops when he looks at me or touches me. It's a little different now than when we were first married, because we're used to each other. But it hasn't grown old or stale. It just gets better because we know each other even better. Our intimacy has grown and deepened. We're more a part of each other now than we've ever been and we love each other more than ever. I hope we always feel this way about each other (and I think we will, as long as we take time to appreciate each other).

Two years ago, on our wedding day, we were so in love and excited to be finally married. We were finally free to jump into life together with gusto, finally free to express the desires of our hearts. But our love is deeper now, and stronger, than it was then. We know each other better now. Then, we had the thrill of the unknown and the excitement of discovery. Not that we were strangers. On the contrary, we knew each other quite well. But there’s a certain knowing that only comes from living together day in and day out, seeing each other in every aspect of life, being one. This more mature love doesn’t have to replace the old excitement (at least not completely). It was meant to add to the love that a husband and wife share. And it just gets better and better as time goes on.

A lot has happened these last two years. The biggest change was the arrival of our little girl last November. A baby sure changes things. But having a child doesn’t have to drive a wedge between a husband and wife. We’ve actually found that we’ve grown closer as we learn to be parents together. We’ve had to be careful to always put each other first, even over being a parent, and to talk things over together. Making time for each other can be difficult at times. Reagan has a knack for waking up at the most inopportune moments. But spending time together is a priority for us and we make it happen on a regular basis.

I think one secret to keeping the spark alive is to take time to appreciate each other. If you take each other for granted, if you forget to be thankful for each other, it’s so much easier to become dissatisfied and discouraged. A grateful heart is a happy heart. That’s true in general, but especially true in marriage. And, of course, it’s not enough to simply feel grateful – you have to tell each other of your appreciation. This can be done through words, gestures, and even writing love notes (yes, I took my own advice and wrote one for my husband yesterday). My husband and I take time to tell each other of our love and appreciation on a regular basis and it has kept us close.

So, here we are beginning our third year of marriage. I’m looking forward to what this next year will bring. I’m confident that this year will be even better than the last – that we will grow even closer to each other as we learn even more about each other. It is our desire and plan to spend the rest of our lives learning to love each other more.



How about you? What tips do you have for keeping the spark alive in a marriage?

Linked up with NOBH, The Alabaster Jar, Yes They're All Ours, To Love Honor and Vaccum, The Unveiled Wife, and WLWW.

8 comments:

  1. Hope you got my voice mail I left you yesterday. We are proud of you and the strong marriage you and Doug have. Doug is a great father. I was watching the video on Facebook of him chasing Reagan around the house. Making some great memories. Keep up the good advice and the great recipes.

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    1. Yes, I got the voicemail. Thanks for the encouragement.

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  2. It sounds like you have an awesome start to your marriage! This is my and my husband's 16th year of marriage and 22nd year together. And, you're right, it just keeps getting better. The longer the love lingers, the stronger and more comforting it grows. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on marriage and giving me the opportunity to say "Happy Anniversary" to someone who really appreciates their marriage and their husband! And thanks for linking up with NOBH - Smiles -

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  3. Congrats on two years! We just celebrated 6 years on Monday (June 4th). :-)

    Our secret is to make sure you make time to have fun together. Have an adventure. Do something new. For example, I had a blast learning to ski with my husband this year.

    Our marriage gets better and better every year, but it definitely requires work and communication. Communication is another key to a happy marriage. :-)

    God bless!

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    1. I totally agree with you, Amanda. My husband and I do lots of fun things together. We like hiking together, we like reading books together, we like having long discussions about politics or Biblical worldview. We find that we have more fun doing things together than we do when we're apart. We also relax better when we're together. And you're right that communication is very important also. Communication is key in any relationship, but is especially important in a marriage. Congrats you and your husband on your 6 years of marriage!

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  4. Hi Lindsay, I'm hopping over from WLW!

    Congrats on your anniversary! We'll be celebrating 25 years this September and it's definitely a journey. We were in our late 20s when we got married and thought we knew a thing or two about relationships. HA. But we serve a God who really DOES know, and teaches us about forgiveness and grace and mercy and restoration... so many wonderful and interesting and challenging times are ahead for you. My best advice: WALK WITH HIM and don't sweat the small stuff!

    Hugs from VA,
    Susan

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  5. It’s no secret that a man’s ego has a powerful pull on him.

    In fact this hardwired need to impress and to WIN is so deeply embedded into the male mind...

    That nearly everything a man truly desires is based around this biological “drive” to prove, succeed and to win.

    It’s why so many men become workaholics, gym junkies or become obsessed with their hobbies.

    But what most women don’t know...

    ...is how deeply this “drive” is connected to his love, desire, and attraction for the woman in his life.

    And I’m about to show you how you can “tap into” a man’s ege to refocus that same drive and gut level obsession...

    ...on pleasing you, romancing you, and proving his love for you like you’re his sole purpose in life.

    Here’s how: ==> The “Game ON!” Signal That Makes Him Obsessed With Winning Your Love ]

    Ana

    P.S. When you tap into a man’s ego this way, you can cause him to literally become obsessed with proving his love for you. So please don’t use this on a man unless you are ready for something serious.

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