Some people think that you have to know everything about someone and try them out (including in bed) before making a marriage commitment. They think it’s safer, more loving, and more practical to live together before marriage. After all, knowing the other person intimately beforehand should make sure you don’t get any unpleasant surprises after the wedding, right? However, a closer examination shows that it doesn’t really work that way. Aside from the fact that cohabitation (i.e. an unmarried couple living together) is morally wrong, there are a number of practical reasons that it doesn’t lead to safer, more secure, and more loving marriages.
Conversely, cohabitation before marriage is not an environment that builds love and trust. Cohabitation, as a “trial period,” says to the other that they better measure up or else. It is an inherently selfish relationship that objectifies the other person. The emphasis in cohabitation is on getting what you want out of the relationship, which is the exact opposite of the emphasis in marriage, which is giving of yourself for the good of the other person. What is loving about taking pleasure in another’s body with the understanding that you may simply walk away if they don’t please you enough? Cohabiting couples end up evaluating each other’s merits rather than giving of themselves. Their relationship is based on scrutiny rather than acceptance. Such an environment is not likely to build a healthy and lasting relationship.
So, for those of you who may be contemplating moving in with your girlfriend or boyfriend, please don't. Wait for marriage. It's well worth the wait.